ARTIST STATEMENT

CRUSH! — LOVE IN NEPANTLA​

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The word “crush” holds a heavy double meaning—the exhilarating spark of a new attraction and the physical weight of the heartbreak that can follow. At 55, I stepped into the world of online dating and found myself in a digital Nepantla.​Originally a 16th-century Nahua term meaning “in the middle of things,” Nepantla described a people caught between worlds. In the context of modern love, I inhabit that same "in-between" space: the threshold between hope and disappointment, between the curated digital image and the raw human reality. As Gloria Anzaldúa redefined it, Nepantla is the state of being "torn between ways."

 

In this series, I explore the vulnerability of having a crush while simultaneously being "crushed" by the realization that I may not meet their expectations, or that they are not who I imagined them to be.To love in Nepantla is to exist in a state of constant duality. I explore this tension through specific archetypes that populate this middle ground:​

 

The Nurse with a Purse: A modern stereotype and reclaimed slang for the successful woman who nurtures even as she provides. She embodies the "middle" between professional independence and the traditional feminine role of the caretaker—often paying the price, both literally and emotionally.

 

The Cougar: An archetype of the woman who is shameless about her sexuality. She refuses to be "caught" in the middle of societal age expectations, choosing instead to be open and predatory in her pursuit of desire.

 

The Bull: A man wearing a bull mask, with banderillas (the ritual blades of the bullfight) piercing his shoulders. These blades represent the lingering wounds of past "crushes"—the small, sharp betrayals that weaken the spirit before the final blow. He wears a Sacred Heart tattoo—a symbol of abuse and profound resilience. The mask creates a duality of its own: it transforms him into a spectacle of strength and aggression for the world to see, while literally masking the vulnerability and the sacred, wounded heart underneath.​These archetypes represent the duality of Nepantla in the "love department."

 

They are the nepantleras of the dating world—figures who must navigate the predatory jungle of the heart while trying to maintain their own sacred center."CRUSH!" is a visual exploration of what it means to remain resilient and open when you are standing in the middle of the wreckage and the wonder of contemporary connection.